Full tanks and a bit of Christmas

Last year, Christmas 2010

I haven't written in a while. 

I just read a post on making sure my family's "tanks are full." This made me wonder if we look out for the needs of everyone else or just our own.. or "what needs to be done." What if we cared for our close ones first to make sure their needs are met? Maybe things would go smoother- even if only in the long run? I struggle every.single.day. I struggle to make sure laundry is done, dishes are done, toys are always cleaned up, bathrooms are clean and sanitized, everything's been dusted, meals prepped.. ETC ETC, BLAH BLAH........... ahhhh. This will be for the rest of my life. {At least till 60-70 and I'm calling it quits and hiring a maid with all my retirement money. haha}

  

But do I ever get a chance to JUST sit and play with Noelle? Can I actually watch an entire movie with Maxx without checking my phone?? 

No. 

I need an adjustment of reality. Work has me so thrown off that I need a plan for my plans. Life is so hard to keep up with. Where will I be next year, in 5 years. 20? I am a worry wart (I mean, obviously.) But I need to secure my future. No games. 

Lately, I have definitely not been on my cleaning and list making track as before. But, I can't lie, I have been 10004928579845 times more happy than I was. Not that I felt terrible, but I was constantly emotionally bogged down. I am realizing that I can't be super mom 24/7. I can actually leave dishes in the sink overnight now. Whew. Maybe this is the point where I can say "old habits die hard." No? 

Anyway, our spare room/craft room/office is a mess. My desk is cluttered to the maxxxx and I cannot find my meal plan sheet. Oh no! But guess what? Life is still moving. My little girl is snug in her bed, my darling is racked out on the couch waiting for me to drag him to bed (lol), and life is good. Not perfect- but very good. The more time I spend with God, the more he blesses me and opens my eyes. I have a lot of daily forgiveness to ask for, but the best part is that he will always forgive me. YOU TOO! No matter how big or small. Accept Jesus as the answer. Just pray. Really, just pray about anything and everything! He WILLLL show you. 

And on another note.. for the holiday season, I am challenging myself to donate. Food, clothes, toys- anything. Especially anything my material nature is holding onto. We can't take a single thing to the grave with us so I want to shower my blessings to others. I won't get into my specific story.. but I want to give this season. We should all remember to give from our heart and not think we "have to" and never boast about your giving. God knows what we've done. Pass the spirit along, though!

Now here are some of last years Christmas photos..

She used to be so small! What happened?

Our last years {not-so-close-together} Christmas, while Maxx was in Afghanistan

My cousin/best friend Missy, Jayden, Noelle and I with Santa.

Tree is up and decorated, stockings are hung.. and we are together. Memories are being made. Make some, too. <3 <3

'Tis the season!

Craft(ed)

I accidentally dropped Noelle's very 1st piggy bank off the shelf the other day and needed a DIY fix. I had an empty mayonnaise jar saved in the cabinet for a while... I am not really sure why, but this is what went down.

 

I am wanting to venture out and embroider something on a piece of her clothing... I'm not sure if I'm brave enough yet, though.

Fall: Second Edition

 

 

 

God.Happiness.Inspiration.Faith.Love.Focus.

Fall: First edition

It is definitely fall here in Tennessee... I woke up one morning and I could feel a chill in the house. I peeked through my kitchen window and my entire yard was full of the leaves from my (previously very full) trees. 

This was only the beginning..

 

The whole town just transformed over night. The air was clean and it just smelled like earth. I love that smell. In Florida, the smells of salt and rain come to mind- still very good smells, but this is just so calming. I'm not looking forward to the snow quite as much.

When I was a kid, my mom always insisted we went on an "adventure" to find our pumpkins, Christmas trees, etc. I was in the same frame of mind this year. I knew I wanted an adventure. One day, it just came as we were driving along {as all fabulous things should} We were driving and saw a sign that said  
"Pumpkin Farm.. This way ---->"  
 We took the bait. 

Oh Lord, we drove, and drove and drove some more. We looked at the fall trees as we drove up and down the winding roads. 

 

Gorgeous. After at least 10 miles or more of pavement, we made it. INCREDIBLE! We had a blastttt!! It was definitely a family affair and memories we'll never forget. 

 

There was a petting zoo!

Can you see that HUGE turkey??

This farm was packed with mini events!! The following was all happening while there was some hillbilly music being blasted. Oh, Tennessee. Just how amazing are you??

 

Chickens were running all over and Ellie was fascinated, so she started chasing them, ever-so-nicely of course.

"Where did it go?"

Underground slide!

 

Tires to play in

Peek-a-boooo

HUGE corn maze

They had games set up for the kids throughout

These pigs raced for Oreos!!

 

 

 

CrackerJack, I mean, eh hem.. Hillbilly teeth.

  

Mamas big strong lady.

Seeing my baby react to all these new surroundings were a blessing. Noelle knows what an actual pumpkin is. And it's not just when mama calls her 'punkin'. She chased chickens, ran everywhere and learned so many new things at that pumkin farm. It was an awesome experience that I hope to duplicate every year for as long as she'll let me.. because I know when I got into being a teen, I was over it with my mom. I wish I hadn't been.

Christmas should be fun if the rumors about being able to cut down your own tree is true. 

Loss and grasp

Sometimes it's so easy to feel lost. I have been truly feeling lost for a while now. Lately, it's feeling very out of control. I feel like Satan is trying to weasel into my heart and pour negativity and terrible thoughts into my head. It's making me angry, sad, frustrated, and hurt. I haven't felt this negative in a long time. It's taking a toll on me. The worst part is, that it comes and goes soooo fast. I get overwhelmed with a bad thought and then it just goes away. 5 minutes later, it comes back. That's enough to wear you out! I've written a few blogs but haven't posted any from feelings of discouragement. I'm now pushing onward.

 

Today, without going into very much, I wanted to remind myself- and everyone else.. DON'T BE SO AFRAID! The Lord is your armor. I read one of my favorite blogs this morning and it definitely gave me the encouragement I needed to hear. You never know where your blessings will come from. It's one of the reasons I write this blog and put my heart out for others to read. I want to help anyone who can be blessed by reading this and maybe knowing they're not the only ones going through certain things- good or bad. And of course, it always helps to know that I'm not alone, too.

'God may not be on time, but he's never late.'

 

 

We are all craving to feel him move in our lives. Right now, I'm working on being still enough to listen. I am going to make time for him in my daily routine from now on. How can I not? It's gone on long enough that I've made him second to other things. He should always take the #1 priority. It takes time to get into that groove, but it becomes a {beautiful} habit. I've been there. I miss it. I have now requested to not work on Sundays anymore so I can actually go back to church. I have truly missed that in my life. The Lord has a purpose for me, I just haven't realized what it is yet. Even if it were right in front of me, I wouldn't be able to see it right now, my heart isn't ready. I am so appreciative of Maxx for always being here for me- he's such a blessing, I'm glad I am able to be aware of that much.

I'm asking anyone who reads this to put on their suit of armor and join me in putting God first. Start with little steps if you're new to this. First, pray to Him and ask for his help in allowing you to see Him in all you do. He will show you. (The more I ask, the more signs I see every day- seriously.)

Then use daily thoughts to make decisions with him in mind. 

I'll read something and sometimes it sticks and I remember the next day at work, and it will help me. Sometimes, I just forget and keep feeling terrible. Try and remember something that encourages you to be better. Use it and train your mind to think of it when you need it. 

xox

Kara

Note: I wrote this a few weeks ago but never had a chance to edit then post it. I am glad to update that I'm feeling much better. I still have a way to go until I feel 'back to normal' but I am involving God much more in my life than before. I am SO GRATEFUL for the people he's been placing in my life. Some things you never see coming. Don't we all love a good surprise? He's good at keeping a secret till the right time.