Everyday that I wake up, I see Noelle's beautiful face next to me and as soon as I open my eyes, she smiles really big at me. I always say "good mooorrnniinng" and she smiles again then starts to crawl all over me. Then, I think of how I don't have my husband next to me. Its hard to want to be motivated after that hurt feeling. I start planning things in my head to do thru he day to stay busy. Most of the time its hard to keep going. I think how I'm going to have to videotape Noelle opening her 1st years Christmas presents because he can't be here. As sad as that makes me... how absolutely wonderful is it that he'll be able to see that!!??! What a blessing! The days that Noelle is fussy are the days thats really hard. When he was here on leave it became so easy and he was suuuchh a huge help. At times like this when Ellie is asleep back in her car seat and I'm parked waiting till she wakes up to let her rest a bit.. I sit here and wonder about everything. About my life and about my litle family. We are so lucky to have each other. I hear people say all the time "Christmas isn't about presents" but this year I really get it. Its about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and being together! I think we really do let that go without even thinking twice. We get so caught up in shopping that we just forget. Now that I don't have the person who means the most, I see it now. Please, please be grateful that you have your loves ones close and theyre not on the other side of the world. We can't even look at the sunrise or the moon together because we're at opposite times :( I have really learned to stop taking advantage of time spent together. I'm most grateful that soon enough he'll be back and that's the best feeling to feel! God will lead us back where he wants us.

Love and a heavy heart..
Kara

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I'm imperfect!!

I saw another blog today that was about being imperfect. I think it was such a great idea. We all have Facebooks and see a SMALL glimpse into other people's lives..but it doesn't always help us. Seeing these things can lead to jealousy, envy, and anger, towards your own FRIENDS! I know people that get this way about what they see all the time(and I have before, too) but most of it isn't reality. These people aren't "perfect" at all. They aren't alllwayys happy with themselves or in their relationship. They don't have prefect families or things like that. Not to say these people are lying but it is just that they don't exclaim when they are unhappy and so on. Obviously, we know that the perfection we see on TV isn't reality.. BUTTTT- when it comes down to things happening in our own lives, we wonder "Why aren't things happening this/that way like it did for so and so..?" or say "It shouldn't be happening this way!" Right away we don't think about a movie or television but you are usually comparing yourself to another person/character that you've seen before. That's what makes it hard! It's subconscious thinking! Love isn't always pretty or fun. Children aren't always on their best behavior. Jobs/school doesn't always go great!! Everyone has their challenges!

Anyway, I just want to remind people that this is life.. YOUR life! It's 87334082347x different than the next person's. Being Imperfect is what makes us so wonderful. Maybe we can better embrace our imperfections by putting them out there and not keep them floating in our heads to be "ashamed" of. Keep in mind.. everyone is critical about so many different things about themselves. As long as you know that God created you JUST the way he wanted. He is ultimately in control and He loves you no matter what! This world is only temporary and at the end of days we will be able to sit with the Lord alone and talk with him about anything. God is Omnipresent, he is everywhere all of the time. You can't hide from Him and He knows every feeling you've ever had. Don't be ashamed!! Embrace who you are and who He wants you to be!

WHAT I THINK ARE MY IMPERFECTIONS:

• "Bump" on my nose

• Stretch marks (Thank you, Noelle.. Mommy loves you)

• Nail biting

• Frizzy hair

• Cellulite

• My beady eyes, haha

• Huge over thinker

• Not being in college yet

•  Always having to do things MY way

• When I get nervous I ramble

There is honestly sooo much more but I can't list them all. But my silly imperfections can be crazy to anyone else but they're something to me. Like yours are something to you! haha!

Here's to being yourself..
Kara.

Well.. Noelle decided to sans her morning nap. It used to be nice... she would wake up at 8 then after about an hour of playing she'd be ready to come back in bed to snuggle and we could go back to sleep. Well now.. no way! Haha! No sleep for Ellie (or me!) Anyway.. Maxx and I are really missing each other and it's been hard lately. January and February are going to be really busy getting us into a house by the time he's home. Can't wait for things to be back to normal!

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Motherhood amongst more

Woah! I need to write more! I think about writing every single day but when Noelle goes to sleep, I just browse the internet and relax till I am about to pass out.. haha! I can BET that most moms do the saaamme thing!!

I have been enjoying life so very much. The only thing missing is.. well.. you know! This deployment is almost over and I cannot believe it! I was so worried that every single day was going to be torture when he was gone but even though I miss him so very much, every day is a blessing. This has all made us so strong! I am so thankful to have my wonderful husband!

Lately, I've been going to church and enjoying it soooo much!! I was saved a few weeks ago and had a dedication for Noelle last week. How amazing is God?? He is leading my heart in the right direction! It sure hasn't been easy and every day is a struggle but the important thing is that I am trying so hard and it's working!

I also have started going to the gym.. which I am loving! It gives me 'mommy time' and Noelle some 'baby time' through the day. I haven't been going for even a week and it already is feeling really good.

Ellie is crawling all around the house and it's sooo cute! I am constantly trying to keep up with her and making sure she isn't putting the whole house in her mouth but it's fun.

The Christmas tree is up and there isn't any ornaments on the bottom half because in her walker she pulls them all off and takes off running! Haha!! She's such a little diva! She can be so prissy but sweet. She's a little social butterfly, too! At the salon today, she was held by like 5 different people. She didn't even want to come back to me! lol!! She has her little baby talk that's the cutest thing, ever! AND... she said 'MAMA' the other day! I was so proud! I wish I would've caught it on video! She's such a big girl! She stands up so well by herself, she feeds herself, she is walking along the tables.. I love my daughter! I always have to talk about her to everyone! Being a mom is the best thing ever!! I'm learning sooo much every day. I could post every single picture of her, she's so beautiful!

Well.. here's to parenthood and loving every (other) second!
Mama B.

simply jayden

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